Now this blogpost might sound a little whiny and a little too chaotic but bear with me this one post because I really have strong feelings about this.
I created this blog because I wanted to have a place where I can freely express my opinions and obsess over anything I wanted to. I’m extremely shy in person and I always have trouble talking to others . Now think of me trying to fangirl and rant about my favourite books to someone. Wait! You can’t because I can’t do that! I’d stutter and hesitate and end up looking like a fool. So I don’t bother talking about my interests with others for this reason. I thought that writing about my thoughts and feelings would be easier because it’s more anonymous via a blog. It has helped a little seeing tons of other people enjoy the same stuff I do, but I’m still no closer to sharing my thoughts with my friends or family!
I think that’s because of the constant judgement and criticism I’ve seen being hurled at people. Like seeing your friends making fun of someone for liking something they don’t or seeing your family dismiss the actions of a person claiming that ‘it’s just a phase and they’ll get over it soon’ kinda crap. That can make sharing your fictional addictions a tad bit difficult.
The most recent encounter I had like that was a few weeks ago and it really pushed me into writing this blog post because people need to know. So my friend and I were chatting and she just casually asked about what I’ve been watching lately and I hesitated because I was worried that she might laugh or judge me but I told her anyways. Once she realised what it was she started laughing and calling me a pathetic loser, I brushed the insult off with a fake laugh! I know she might’ve meant it as a joke but it still felt horrible to be laughed at for liking a childish anime! Her words taunted me and it really increased my level of insecurity and it got harder to talk about anything I like with my school friends because I was afraid of more judgement. Right now I can’t even stand having normal conversations with them about summer plans!
Another stupid thing also happened a few months ago but it still makes me furious. This girl from school who I never really talk to just came up to me and asked me for book recommendations, now first I didn’t even register that she was talking to me, but then she made it clear that she was talking to me and then I ask her what genre did she want a book from. She said that she wanted something YA but nothing like A Court of Mist and Fury, now for those of you who don’t know, that book is one of my favourites and it killed me to hear that. I couldn’t even answer because of how upset I was by what she said. She saw that I wasn’t speaking so she said she’d give me time to think about books before she came and asked me again. So a few weeks pass and I see her like a bajillion times around school and she never even mentions her stupid request again! So I just felt miserable that she’d just randomly start talking by insulting one of my favourite reads and never utter another word to me again! What. The. BANANA? Call me paranoid but I really thing she just wanted to piss me off for some reason! I’m still shaking with anger and embarrassment from what she said to me.
I just want to share this message and these examples to tell people to STOP JUDGING OTHERS FOR WHAT THEY LIKE!! It might seem like nothing to them but to the person who’s being laughed at, it may scar them and hurt them deeply! I’m just sick of inconsiderate jerks who don’t know how uncomfortable some of us may feel! How we may feel by sharing a piece of us, that to them might seem insignificant but to us it might mean the world! So STOP MAKING US FEEL GUILTY AND ASHAMED OF LOVING FICTION! This isn’t how humans are supposed to judge each other! So please, if you ever have a person sharing with you something they like be it a song, a YouTube video, a piece of art, a book quote, a card game, ANYTHING, have the courtesy to care about what they said and not laugh at what matters to them.
For all of you fans, I want to tell you to be proud of your obsessions, no matter how silly or unpopular they are because as long as they matter to you, they become precious.
Let me know if any of you have encountered something similar or would like to share your own thoughts on this matter. Feel free to comment, or if you want it to be private we can discuss this through emails, so I’ll be adding my email address at the bottom of this post. I’d love to hear what you guys think.
This was also a inspired by the author of Geekerella- Ashley Poston. I realised that we shared a lot of the same interests and she mentioned ‘not letting anyone tell us that what we love is useless or a waste of time’. So I want to thank her for her heartfelt message.
Have a lovely day.